MAGGIE Prologue - Ch. 5

MAGGIE

Prologue

Maggie struggled to open her eyes. They were crusty and sticky at the same time. She remembered that feeling. When she was a little girl, she often cried herself to sleep. One particular night stuck out in her memory. She cried for hours and the next morning, her eyes were stuck together as if a prankster had glued them.

She finally managed to peel them apart and desperately looked around but everything around seemed painted black. She opened and closed her eyes, but as hard as she tried, her eyes would not adjust to the light. She tried to turn but her whole body ached. The pain radiated waves of heat throughout her body. She struggled to look around but all she could see was darkness.

It took the effort of her entire body to lift her head. It throbbed and she grabbed it with both her hands. She gathered all her strength and with one motion, she brought her upper body to a sitting position. Her head screamed in agony; the rest of her body pulsated violently. Her eyes finally started to adjust and she was able to catch a glimpse of a light shining ahead of her. She focused intently on it and tried to make sense of her surroundings.

What has happened to me, she thought and a feeling of dread overtook her. She looked around and saw she was sitting on grass. There were some bottles thrown about. She could see the figure of a large, imposing tree to her left. As she looked to her right, a row of bushes snuck into her vision. She had no idea where she was. Nothing seemed familiar. There was no one around.

She tried to bring her body to a standing position but the pain was excruciating. The pain came from deep within her body. She got on her elbows and began to pull her body toward the light. Slowly and with much effort, she crawled, carefully feeling the grounds. There was garbage strewn throughout: cigarette butts, a book, soda cans, used condoms. Even in her pain and despair, she could feel the disgust of having to carry her body through the filth. As she got closer to the light, it seemed to be getting farther and farther away.

“Help me…” she cried.

CHAPTER 1

Maggie woke up as she did every day for the past three years and followed a very strict routine. She went into the kitchen and put on a fresh pot of coffee. While the coffee brewed, she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She then went directly to the refrigerator and brought out the milk: Carnation milk. It reminded her of her childhood, her childhood when she was still a little girl.

Coffee in hand, she sat at the computer and checked her email. She went on Face book and lurked, as she came to call it, because she seldom posted anything. Yet she felt connected. She read several comments and then realized she had to get to work.

She showered and then she carefully planned what she would wear. She went through her closet filled with solid colored t-shirts and plain skirts. Everything in her closet looked the same. Today she chose a pastel colored skirt and a white t-shirt. She found her pink sandals. Perfect! She thought to herself. Maggie liked to look neatly put together but she did not like to attract attention. Shoes were her little pleasure. After a few more minutes, she was ready to walk out the door. She grabbed her purse, her IPod, and her book. She was on the sidewalk before she knew it.

For three years, Maggie followed the same route to work. She could do it with her eyes blindfolded. There was comfort in her routine. Nothing unexpected. She saw the same people and the same dogs being walked. She carefully made her way to the bus stop and waited, careful not to make eye contact with any one there. Soon the bus would be there and she could bury her head into her novel. The bus ride was a quick fifteen-minute ride.

She worked at a bakery in the shopping center in town. This was the main source for shopping in the neighborhood so it was always buzzing with activity. Maggie had to walk through the parking lot to make it to Zara’s Bakery. She had worked there for three years. John, the owner, was very kind to her. She kept her head down as she walked, her eyes darting at every sign of movement. She was very aware of the people around her and could sense any incoming cars even at a distance.

As she neared the bakery, John was outside. He was sweeping the entrance to the storefront. He looked up, saw Maggie coming toward him, and gave her a big wave hello. Maggie smiled. Every weekday, for three years, she had looked forward to this smile. She approached the entrance, exchanged pleasantries, and walked inside.

The new girl was already there. She was not very friendly. In fact, she liked to boss Maggie around and took advantage of her shy nature. Maggie put on a timid smile and said good morning. She went to the back and put on her apron. She washed and then dried her hands. The new girl told her to hurry up: “There’s a customer waiting.” Maggie looked up to see an older man standing in front of the counter. She hurriedly went over to him and began to take his order.

This was a very busy bakery; customers filled it purchasing breads and assorted pastries. Many just came for the coffee during their breaks from their retail jobs. This delighted Maggie. They loved the coffee and she made it.

The hours went by quickly as they had for three years and she seldom got a break. Maggie did not mind. She found comfort in the smell of flour and fresh pastries out of the oven. And, she loved making coffee! This was her perfect job. Most of all, at the bakery she could control her interactions with people. If they became too chatty, she could claim she had work to do in the back. She felt safe.

And she hadn’t felt safe in a long time.

Soon her workday would be over and she would follow the same path she followed every day for the last three years.

CHAPTER 2

Maggie woke up when the phone rang. It was David. She met him two years ago when he got a job at the bakery and they quickly became friends. He didn’t last there very long though, maybe three months but they kept their friendship going even after he was asked to leave. He wasn’t one to take orders very well.

“You have to please the customer,” she told him once. He responded with a snarl and said, “If they want their coffee the way they want it, they should make it themselves.” She laughed at this and soon they were spending time outside of work. She enjoyed his sense of humor and snarky remarks about everything. Secretly, she wished she could be as outgoing and assertive as he was.

“Hey, good morning!” David rattled on about some paper he was writing for his Sociology class and how he needed to blow off some steam.

 

“Do you want to meet for a drink tonight?” Maggie was not much of a drinker and danced around at the request. “You know, I’ve been getting these headaches lately and they’re actually getting worse. I don’t think I’d be good company.”

David sighed heavily. “Man, just one drink… I just need to get all this writing outta my head…”

Maggie thought for a second. “No, I think I’ll pass… but, I would love to see you!”

David knew better than to push Maggie. She would quickly shut down and he wanted company. All week the stupid paper had been his priority and he wanted to let loose. All his other friends were busy tonight so he thought of Maggie. He liked her in a weird sort of way. Actually, he sometimes felt sorry for her. Maggie was simple and introverted, sometimes even awkward, but she filled his ego and laughed at his jokes.

“Well, then, let’s meet for coffee. I can always spike it!”

Maggie laughed aloud. “Sure, sounds great! I’ll meet you at five!”

 

They chatted a little more and decided to meet at Slave to the Grind, their favorite coffee place.

That afternoon, Maggie wore a simple blue skirt with a pastel blue shirt. Her sandals were colorful and decorated with shiny paillettes. Shoes had become her guilty pleasure. She found it easy to show her personality through shoes.

She sat at the back of Slave to the Grind. It was exactly five o’clock. Not a minute later, David was at her table. He was wearing a pair of ripped up jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt.

“Hey, been waiting long?”

“No, I just got here myself!”

“Great! I got the coffee today. The usual?”

“Okay,” said Maggie.

David went to the counter and ordered a Mocha latte for Maggie and a double shot espresso for himself. He needed a pick me up. He touched the flask in his pocket. Yup, this should do the trick for now.

 

He went back to the table and sat with Maggie. They drank, talked, and laughed. Maggie sipped her latte slowly while David drank his spiked espresso in no time. Soon he was up ordering a second.

“Ready for another?”

 

Maggie looked at her half empty cup and said, “No…. but you know what…. get me a muffin… Banana walnut… I’m a little hungry.”

David smiled. He walked to the counter to put in the order. Maggie sat at the table happy to be with David. Her headache had subsided somewhat and it was bearable. He makes me laugh. She buried her head down on the table, careful not to attract any attention from the other patrons.

A guy walked up to her table and asked, “Are you using all your chairs?” Without looking directly at him she said, “No, just one.” The guy grabbed one of the chairs and walked away. As an afterthought, he looked back and said, “Thanks…”

David came back holding a coffee on his right hand and a muffin on his left. Maggie reached for the muffin and set it in front of her. David sat, pulled out his flask, and looked around the coffee shop. He had a mischievous look about him and carefully hid the flask under the table as he poured the rum into his coffee. Maggie studied his moves and was delighted with his antics.

 

She shook her head in amusement and turned her attention to her banana nut muffin. She took a bite and said, “yummm…” David laughed, “Enjoy…”

Maggie was really enjoying the muffin. The flavors were all coming alive. She could feel the scents of the banana and the walnuts. She could really discern the flavors, both together as one and each as their own self. She was really enjoying this muffin.

 

“I’m coming,” said Maggie. Her mom had already called her several times but she was too busy playing with her dolls.

“Maggie!!!!!!!!!! Come down! You need to eat something...”

“Ok, ok…” Maggie yelled. She set one of her dolls on a chair; the other, she set neatly on her pillow. She took the third doll, her favorite, and left the room. She went down the stairs reluctantly. “I don’t want to eat,” she protested as she made her way to the kitchen.

 

“I’m not hungry, mom…. I could smell what you cooked and I don’t want it!”

Maggie’s mom was used to these food protests so she always had something special to give her. “I have muffins, honey, how about that?”

“Are they banana?”

Her mom smiled and said, “Banana walnut, your favorite!”

Maggie’s eyes lit up and she said, “Yay, gimme, gimme…”

Maggie's mom loved to see her smile. She had the muffin already waiting in her favorite plate, the one with the little mermaid. Maggie was very happy.

They both sat at the table. Her mom added sugar to her third cup of coffee while Maggie pulled walnuts off her muffin and set them aside on her plate. Maggie told her mom stories about her dolls. She gave her mom detailed accounts about the clothes they wore and why her dolls had picked them. The mom amused, listened intently, and asked her questions in an attempt to sound interested.

 

Maggie’s mom got up to rinse her cup. As she washed, she told Maggie, “When you’re done eating, go upstairs and wash up. Uncle Teddy is coming over.”

Maggie’s smile disappeared from her face. “That’s ok, I’ll stay upstairs. I want to play with my dolls.”

 

“No, you will finish your food, go upstairs, and wash up. Uncle Teddy wants to see you.”

“But mom, I don’t want to…. Please, just let me stay in my room!”

 

“Honey, you’re being a silly head. Wash up and wear your pretty yellow dress. You look so lovely in it. I will call you when your uncle is here.”

Maggie looked desolate. She climbed off her chair, set her plate in the sink, and slowly and carefully made her way upstairs and into her room.

“Damn, girl, what’s going on? Are you still with me?”

 

Maggie looked at David not knowing what he meant. “What? What is it?”

“I don’t know… it’s like you left….”

“Don’t be silly. Stop spiking your coffee,” she joked.

 

The two sat for a little while longer. Maggie wondered what David meant. David felt uncomfortable and tried not to show it. It was almost six thirty now. The two tried to find a way to part. Eventually, David took the initiative.

“Awright, I think I’m gonna hit the bar. You in?” He knew what the answer would be.

“No, I’m going to go home. I feel the headache creeping back. Thanks David! It was great seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too, Mag…

The two walked out and parted ways. David headed for the bar. Maggie headed for the bus stop.

CHAPTER 3  

Maggie could not wait for closing time. All day, she had felt an uneasy feeling and her head was throbbing. She could feel one of those horrible migraines coming on. I can’t wait to get home, she thought as she served a well dressed woman.

“Will that be all?” she said forcing a smile. The woman nodded her head without looking at Maggie. She took out a twenty-dollar bill and set it on the counter, grabbed her box of pastries and walked out without saying a word.

Maggie was relieved. She walked to the front door and closed the dead bolt. She then turned the sign hanging on the glass door to show the “We’re Closed” side and turned away. She walked to the back of the store and grabbed the broom.

As she swept the floor and tidied the counters, she felt her headache grow stronger and for a minute had to stop. She closed her eyes and felt no relief. When she opened her eyes, for a brief moment, she could only see darkness. “These headaches are getting worse,” she quietly said to herself. She continued the clean up. Soon she was done and prepared to go home.

Maggie began her usual trek through the parking lot toward the bus stop. There were not many people waiting there. She stood by the bus stop sign away from the other people. Within 5 minutes, the bus was there.

 

She found a seat at the back of the bus. She pulled out her novel, but quickly put it back in her bag. Oh, never mind, she thought. She couldn’t concentrate on it right now. She put in her earphones instead and adjusted the volume to the IPod. The music was playing very softly in her ears and she could hardly hear it. But Maggie wasn’t really interested in listening to the music. Her IPod was one of the many masks she wore in her attempts for invisibility.

Twenty-five minutes later, Maggie was at her destination. She got off the bus and began to walk toward the park. She walked slowly and deliberately, looking around at her surroundings.

Her feet carried her to the entrance and then toward the eastern side of the park. This side was not well lit so they made their way slowly and carefully. Abruptly, she found herself in front of a big tree. Dried leaves and empty bottles and cans covered the ground. Her headache seemed to intensify and for a minute, Maggie lost her breath. She closed her eyes in agony and grabbed both sides of her head: “What is happening to me?”

CHAPTER 4

She returned to her apartment still reeling from her sense of unease. And this headache; it wasn’t immobilizing but it was bad enough she couldn’t bear it and function effectively.

Maggie decided it was time to go see her doctor. Maybe it was time for a new scan. Her last scan had been a year ago. Anything could have developed since then. She took a deep breath and felt relieved.

 

She went in her bedroom and took off her clothes. She threw on her favorite sweat pants and a sweatshirt. She would just relax for the remainder of the evening.

She grabbed her laptop and threw herself on her couch. Maybe some aimless internet surfing would relieve her stress and headache. Maybe it would keep her from thinking about the park.

 

She checked out Facebook and lurked on some of her favorite friend’s pages. When she was done, she looked for pictures of her favorite actors: David Conrad and Wentworth Miller. “They are so handsome,” she sighed. “I wonder how they are in real life.”

She spent what turned out to be hours looking at pictures of celebrities and reading blogs by their fans. They considered themselves “writing aficionados” but what they were really doing, under the cover of keeping their readers informed, was creating fantasy connections with these men. She was really into it. She laughed at herself for actually relishing the fantasies of some of these writers who felt so connected to the celebrities. “No harm, no foul.”

 

As she was getting ready to call it a night, her headache intensified and her vision became blurry. She closed the laptop and stretched out on the couch. “Tomorrow… Tomorrow I will call the doctor.”

******************************************************

The list was long. She had no idea there were so many when she googled the term. Some were very hard to pronounce.

Rohypnol, Quinine, Ketamine, Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate, Strychnine, Cyanide… the list went on and on complete with great descriptions and how to guides. They were easy to access over the internet.

“They sell silver plating solution with cyanide, who knew!” She found everything readily available. This would be easy.

She decided on cyanide, after all the websites described it as the movie star of deadly poisons! Wait, she didn’t want the drug to kill anyone. She opted for Ketamine instead! She filled out the order form assured her package would arrive in a brown paper bag wrapper with no descriptions. She got her credit card and finalized her order.

CHAPTER 5

Maggie was a pretty, little girl. She was a typical little girl who played with dolls and had tea parties for them. She combed their hair and changed their clothes every day. Her favorite dolls were Barbies. Her mom and dad doted and gave her everything she asked for. So of course, her Barbies had houses, cars, pools, and every possible outfit for every possible occasion.

Maggie spent hours playing with her dolls. She created stories for each. They each had jobs. One was a teacher; the other was a police detective. Then there was the rich and famous one. She was an actress or something like that. Of all her Barbies, these three were her favorite.

When it came to her Ken doll, (she only had one) it was a different story. Ken’s only job was to be present. He was always well dressed and groomed. You could always find Ken lounging by the pool or sitting somewhere in the Barbie Town House.

 

This is where Maggie felt most comfortable creating fantasy scenarios for her dolls. She lived through her dolls and experienced the perfect life that deep down seem to elude her. This is not to say that Maggie was not a happy little girl, she was, but deep down inside there was a fear that made her retreat to this fantasy world she created.

This summer was almost over and Maggie would be starting school soon. Unlike most other kids her age who would be entering kindergarten, she was going straight into the First grade. Maggie had been reading since she was three and the school felt she should skip kindergarten. Her mom and dad thought it over and decided this would be a good thing. Maggie’s mom would certainly miss her! She loved having Maggie around, one of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom.

 

Now don't get me wrong, Maggie’s parents were not rich but they lived well. Her dad was an electrician and had his own business. He was great with money. He didn't want Maggie's mom working because he felt the money they would spend on childcare could be money they could save. Maggie's mom had no problem with the arrangement. She loved being at home.

Along with the preparations for the upcoming school year, Maggie's mom was also getting ready to welcome her brother-in-law and his family. Teddy as they affectionately called him would be spending two weeks at their home. Unlike his many other visits, this visit would bring along his wife and two boys.

 

He would be arriving this afternoon. All day she had been working on a very special dinner to greet her guests. Maggie kept her company at the kitchen table. She played with her two favorite Barbies as she watched her mom cook up a storm.

“Maggie, take your dolls upstairs and get ready for a bath.”

“But I'm not done playing and I want to watch you cook.”

Maggie's mom dried her hands on a dishtowel and turned to Maggie.

“Uncle Teddy will be here this afternoon. He will be visiting for a while. You wouldn’t want him to see you wearing your old play clothes… So, scoot…”

 

Maggie’s look of content turned into dismay. She didn’t like Uncle Teddy. In fact she hated Uncle Teddy. No one else treated her this way. The feeling she got around him could only be described as itchies crawling up and down her skin. And, she hated the itchies. Still she knew better than to argue with her mom. She picked up her two dolls and walked out of the kitchen with her head down.

The doorbell rang and Maggie's mom excitedly ran to answer it. When she opened the door there stood Uncle Teddy and his wife followed by their two boys who showed no desire to be there. Why can't we go to Disney World like everybody else, was written all over their faces.

 

They exchanged hugs and small pleasantries and made their way into the kitchen. There Maggie's mom served them tall glasses of iced tea. She then called for Maggie.

Upstairs, Maggie heard her mom call and ignored her. “I don't want to go, no, I don't want to….” she quietly answered her mom’s call. Her mom called again and after a long silence Maggie began to walk down the stairs.

 

Maggie's mom was standing by the kitchen sink and Uncle Teddy stood next to her animatedly telling a story. His wife sat at the table drinking her iced tea while the kids sat impatiently across from her.

Uncle Teddy was the first to see Maggie come into the kitchen. He immediately rolled across the room and scooped her into his arms. He danced and pranced her all across the room. Maggie fidgeted and tried to get off from his grip. But he wouldn't let her go. He hugged and kissed her. There was nothing she could do to avoid it.

In one swift and deliberate push, Maggie propelled herself to the floor. She landed by Diane’s feet, Uncle Teddy’s wife. She reached out and tried to lift her but Maggie pulled away and rolled under the kitchen table.

Maggie’s mom became flushed. She sternly told her to come out from under. But Maggie sat stoically, careful to not show any sign of despair. She folded her legs; then her arms. She peered to her left and saw her two cousins smiling mischievously. One by one, each face started showing under the table. Maggie mustered all her strength not to cry. Deep inside Maggie hated her mother for not understanding, for not seeing.

Uncle Teddy extended his hand toward Maggie; Maggie’s body tightened. “Come on stinky, you’re dirtying your pretty little dress.” But Maggie would not budge.

The boys started exchanging secrets in the way boys do when they want to be heard. “She's a big baby…. yeah she needs her diaper changed…” They chuckled after each comment. Maggie could hear them and each comment made her want to disappear.

After a few minutes, the focus had shifted. The boys went back to their impatient selves; the grown-ups talked about what they wanted to do the next two weeks. Maggie saw this as her chance. She began to crawl from under the table. Once at the door, she got up and ran up the stairs.

 

In the safety of her room, Maggie hugged her favorite doll and began to cry. In between sobs, she could hear Uncle Teddy’s loud, booming voice. She couldn't help but think about her two other uncles. Neither of them made her feel the way Uncle Teddy did. Neither of them touched her down there. Neither of them gave her the itchies.